Some people are afraid of spiders, or heights, others are afraid of snakes or speaking in public . One of my biggest fears since we've had Connor is a second child. Now this doesn't quite makes sense since I want a decent sized family, but hear me out.
Naps. When you have a second (or third, etc) child you can't take a nap when the first is napping. Nap time is very important to me, or just a little downtime during the day so I don't go crazy. (Call me selfish, but I need me time every day).
Feedings. How do you feed a newborn/toddler at the same time...I'm pretty sure this is when a few more arms could come in handy.
Keeping everyone happy. Seriously, how do you calm a newborn down and comfort it, when your toddler is wanting attention and to play.
Housework. When there's one munchkin running around like a monster, toys everywhere, a newborn that wants to be constantly held, when can you clean? How does your house stay semi-decent? The easy thing to say is at night, and yes that solves the toddler situation, but what about the newborn, they still need to eat every few hours, and nursing/lack of sleep is exhausting.
Can you tell I've thought about this a lot. Lets be honest, there are times with Connor when I think he might be an only child. He has such a HUGE personality and an even bigger temper (awesome). On the same note, he is also starting to help out a lot more, he'll pick up things around the house, throw things away, he helps me move clothes from the washer to the dryer, he can even brush his own teeth...well kind of.
About a week or so ago I've had to face this fear. Yes, we secretly moved to Cache Valley so nobody would know about our second child. Haha, kidding. At the end of July my sister in law had her darling baby girl, she has since had to return to work and I've offered to help her by watching baby L.
To be honest there are good and bad times. This week more so good then bad, but that's the whole process of life isn't it? Connor is getting better at being soft and learning to play little games with her like patty cake. baby L on the other hand is learning to sleep with lots of noise! I am definitely learning patience and time management. I'm doing my best to let Connor feel loved and not ignored as much as possible, while still not forgetting about baby L.
So maybe when it comes down to it, I'll be able to figure out how to manage two children for 24/7 when I need too, but not quite yet. Till then I'll enjoy all the fun games and songs with Connor, and I'll sneak in any snuggle time with baby L too.
What are your fears?
3 comments:
So I never really post comments on here because I know Brandon and have never met you, but I know what you mean! When we had our little surprise pregnancy, we had just been talking about when would be a good time for a second baby and had decided to wait a year until trying, and two days later I too the test and found out I was pregnant. It was so terrifying because, like you were saying, I NEED my "Me" time, I enjoy naps, and just 1 kid is a handful. Luckily, I suppose, I had a rough pregnancy so I had Sophie helping out a lot more even before the baby was born simply because I couldn't walk or bend. Didn't always work out, but she got used to me asking her to do more herself. Then since the baby was born she has stepped up more as the "big sister" and even though there are days where I feel like the worst mother ever and feel like all I do is yell, more days than not it's still completely manageable. I can even turn on a show for Sophie sometimes and tell her that Mommy "really needs a nap" and she will sit in the room and play with her toys quietly or watch the show while I take a quick nap on the couch and baby sleeps nearby. Not ideal, but she understands and will even turn off lights or get a blanket for me! Then again she is really well behaved, so I don't know how crazy little Conner is, but naps can still happen. Then there are the rare moments where they are both asleep at the same time. Anyway, I'm rambling now, but just know that when you do have another baby that it just seems to work out. :)
I know exactly how you feel! I was terrified when number 2 came around! Although I don't get the naps anymore, it is so amazing how you adjust. My house isn't nearly as clean as I would like it, but my husband is understanding and helps me tag team it after William goes to bed. You will make adjustments and you will be wonderful (when the time comes)!!!
Looks like you've gotten some great advice so far! I don't have experience in this area but I know that one child is hard enough. I also know that Heavenly Father makes miracles happen when you're starting or expanding a family, and it will just work out. I've had to make so many adjustments for just one child, but I've noticed the help from above more so in this area in my life than any other.
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